The Heart of a Pro-Lifer

Pro-Choicers,

Maybe you’re wondering what’s going on inside a pro-lifer’s head. Most of you perceive us to be intrusive, hateful, and judgmental. I get it. I really do. I don’t mean to stereotype or generalize you, but by definition, pro-choice means to believe a woman has the right to do with her body what she wishes, including sex and abortion.

And I agree that everyone has certain inalienable rights, endowed by their Creator, that no government should take away. However, I believe among these rights are “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” as outlined by the Founding Fathers in the Declaration of Independence.

Unfortunately, many overlook this statement, as it clearly extends to all- men, women, and children. Scientifically, we know a fetus is alive, a growing human being in the womb. So it only makes sense that these rights would extend to the unborn child as well, right?

Well, obviously pro-choicers just don’t see it that way. And like I said, I get it. Generally, you believe a mother’s rights trump that of the baby- maybe because she was born first or the baby is practically “renting” space in the mother’s womb, etc.

And, at first glance, those arguments seem really valid. But somehow pro-lifers still exist. In fact, over half the country considers themselves to be pro-life. I imagine that pro-choicers are really baffled by how that could be.

Well here’s a look into one pro-lifers heart, thoughts, and mind. Although this is just the perspective of one person, I hope it’ll give you some insight to better understand the pro-life movement as a whole.

See, no one is exempt from the effects of abortion- friends, family members, neighbors, communities… And despite popular belief, the pro-life movement equally cares about men, women, and children.

Sadly, in cases of abortion, men don’t really have a say. If a father wants to keep his child, but the mother wants to have an abortion, the father’s will is completely disregarded. And I get it, the mother is the one who has to carry the baby for 9 months. But let’s face it, that baby is part of the father as well. It takes 2 to create life. I mean, c’mon, we all know what sex is for- reproduction. So don’t be surprised when sex results in pregnancy. And that baby has his or her father’s DNA. Both father and mother have a responsibility to and claim on that child. But when only one is willing to care for the child, it seems only logical that the parent would be granted that opportunity. Isn’t a few months a small sacrifice to make for a human baby that is wanted by its father? I don’t mean to sound cruel or harsh, but it’s really upsetting when a father, desperate to hold and raise his child, is denied that right. Men are often overlooked by both pro-life and pro-choice people, but they are not free from the consequences of abortion. In fact, these men often feel pain, loss, and depression when their child is aborted, whether they consented to it or not.

Then there’s the mother. Yeah, pregnancy is intimidating, difficult, expensive, and scary. But abortion is even worse. Bleeding, physical damage to the reproductive system, loss of fertility, infection due to fetal body parts left inside the womb, and even death can occur. In addition to the horrific physical consequences, there are often long term damages emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and socially. It really pains me to hear that women struggle with these effects, including depression, regret, and feelings of loss after their abortion. In fact, this website details the possible physical and mental side-effects after an abortion.

Finally, abortion obviously affects the unborn baby. Not only does abortion intend to end the life of a child, but occasionally it fails and the child is born with awful repercussions. These include developmental damage, cerebral palsy, strokes, kidney failure, disfigurement, maiming, loss of limbs, congenital hip dislocation, blindness, and many other physical handicaps. Sometimes the child will even die after birth, either from the effects of the abortion procedure or a doctor intentionally killing it outside of the womb.

What’s troubling to me is that abortion is considered “okay” in the womb. But once that child is born, whether prematurely or not, and these damages occur, harming and killing the child is suddenly wrong… That seems inconsistent.

See, that’s why we fight this good fight. Our views are consistent in and out of the womb. We see incredible value in the father, mother, and child. We desire to meet their needs and help them all. That’s what the pro-life movement is working on today- providing tangible resources and essential support with love for the families affected by unplanned and crisis pregnancies. We hold fundraisers, mentor men and women, provide parenting classes, spread awareness about local low-cost pregnancy centers, and educate people about the negative affects of abortion in order to avoid tremendous pain and suffering.

The media has painted us pro-lifers to be monsters, especially because of some hateful radicals and violent vigilantes in this world. Those people give us a bad name, but they do not represent what the pro-life movement is really about. I apologize for the negative impression they’ve given you. We actually consider ourselves to be the new abolitionists of a dreadful lie plaguing people today- the lie that abortion is the best option. As many before us abolished slavery, racism, and sexism, we intend to rid the world of legal child-sacrifice.

I think it’s crucial to mention here that life is first among the rights established in our Declaration of Independence. Each life is different, unique, and deserves equal treatment. We do not find a person’s value in their size, independence, looks, circumstances, age, sex, weight, race, education, financial situation, or accomplishments. Each person deserves an equal chance at life, compassion, and love. No disease, no disability, no “defect” should define a person’s worth. ALL men (and women) were created EQUAL. And I think that’s something both ends of the political spectrum can, or at least should, agree with.

What’s interesting is I understand the pro-choice movement to preach equality, love, and acceptance. So it boggles my mind why these values wouldn’t extend to all people.

As pro-lifers, we often describe our movement as “pro-love” because that’s what we’re about. We dedicate a tremendous amount of time, effort, emotion, and resources into something that doesn’t directly impact us.We do it for the good and wellbeing of others, knowing we’ll face intense backlash, hate, judgment, and persecution.

Funny, that’s exactly what you fear from us.

I guess both sides can view each other as the enemy. But honestly, I want you to know we are not the enemy. I can see how you’d think, without abortion, women’s rights would be stifled and they’d be forced to carry out an unwanted or costly pregnancy. But the problem here is the devaluation of life. Our culture and media have invaded our minds with an image of what “good” and “right” should be. And, in my mind, right has become wrong and wrong has become right in the eyes of society.

Yeah, everyone is pretty aware abortion kills a baby.

But because of countless testimonies, we know abortion has tragic and harmful impacts on women emotionally, spiritually, socially, psychologically, and physically.

And this pain and brokenness extend to the fathers as well.

This is absolutely heartbreaking. This is not okay.

I do commend you for your concern and action regarding women’s rights and healthcare. They are noble causes.

But I don’t want this for women. I don’t want this for anyone. They deserve better than abortion. They deserve love, joy, hope, respect, support, honesty, compassion, help, and quality healthcare.

And that’s what the pro-life movement is really about. ❤